Ugh J. Yep, "Pain like nothing before." It is decades later and I still remember that pain. It felt like I glowed in the dark I hurt so much.
The experience with my qualifier did permanently change me even after the pain receded. I continue to change in ways I could never imagine. Most of us, through our relationships with alcoholics, gain an understanding and humility that we didn't have before. It is a view of a reality of human relationship that you can't have without the experience.
In spite of acquired wisdom, I wouldn't wish the experience on my worst enemy.
Please keep getting through the days the best you can. It will hurt way longer than you want. However each 24 hour passage of time, is a victory.
Let us know how you get on.