What is this about? Is this about you doing what is best for you or you doing something that you "think" will please other people?
Perhaps you are not ready to quit? I mean, you know the wave is dangerous and you know where it will lead but knowing and doing are two different things. I "knew" my alcoholism was going to kick my ass. I truly knew it. I couldn't stop myself though. LUCKILY, I was able to finally give it up before I hurt myself or another person.
You can test the waters more if needed. Its your life. We are going to encourage you to make a different decision. That is what we are going to do here!