You're deluding yourself Owen. No other way to say it.
Remember this guy?
I just turned 30 recently and decided that I dont want to die and/or lose everything. I am scared as hell.
I knew I was destroying myself with my drinking and risking everything I held dear
I spent years putting other peoples needs and welfare before my own.
If I'm in a relationship where I 'have' to be a drinker, I'm doomed because, sooner or later, in my manic juggling I'm going to miss one of the many balls I have in the air.
Alcoholics do not have control - ever - Owen...they have runs of so called 'luck'.- and every gambler will tell you lucky streaks never last.
D