Hi Tom,
I would say that your concern over whether a certain behaviour is that of an "alcoholic" or more of someone who has a drinking problem or whatever is semantics really. I don't think you would have sought out soberrecovery.com if it wasn't becoming problem for you and what can be done to remove that problem is the only thing that is important right now. You sound like you are roughly at where I was maybe about 6 or 7 years ago - loved a binge just for the buzz and the euphoria, but able to shake it off and function during the working week. What I found is that at some indeterminate point in time, that 30 units crept up to 60 and beyond and where one bottle of wine was enough to get a nice buzz going, now I would need 2 - this then become 2 bottles of red and four large cans of lager to keep the buzz going as I listened to tunes and got obliterated on my sofa, most likely texting horrendously embarrassing things to friends, family and colleagues. The more your tolerance goes up, the more you're drinking and the more you're drinking, the more weird / regrettable / shameful / embarrassing etc things you do - it doesn't sound like you're there yet but texts, emails, drink driving etc etc I think especially if you are binging, you are drinking specifically to get really high and taking that too far brings you into the realm of the above behaviour and all sorts of other stuff that could put you in a real pickle professionally, emotionally, physically and mentally.
For me, I had to wait for things to start getting scary before I looked to stop drinking. And if you keep going, it will definitely feel really really scary the day after drinking. The fear is amplified exponentially as time goes on. On the really bad days it is a bone chilling experience. The problem is, by that point, the psychological and eventually physical addiction has taken hold to the point that quitting is a massive undertaking. It's something I have been wrestling with for a long time but it has been nearly 3 years since I first started properly and in earnest, attempting to finally take my last drink.
There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that, based on your description of your current drinking that you need to stop drinking immediately. Cutting back may work for a while, but you will always creep back to previous levels of consumption and worse doing it this way. Every single person in here will tell you the same thing.
Reading through all of the threads here will give you a good idea of what you're dealing with and how to go about tackling it. Don't listen to me though, as I am on day 7 - yet another day 7.
Wishing you the best,
Brian.