Originally Posted by
SparkleKitty 
The temptation to figure it all out, for me, was rooted in a desire to try to control or manage another person's behavior. Letting go of that desire is what freed me to embark on my own recovery.
Mashabo, this ^^^^^ many times over. It is super understandable to want to figure the addict out; however, every moment you spend thinking about their problems is energy wasted that could be effectively spent on your side of the street.
Keep posting. We have all done some sort of activity where we tried to control the alcoholic. It is natural to do this however it isn't helpful in the long run