Thank you for the replies - ALWAYS helpful to hear from others.
It feels like I can’t quite escape the mental loop that I’m in. In the past alcohol would’ve been my “cure”, but that would be very temporary in nature.
It’s almost like I need repeated reassurance that everything is ok. That my family members don’t hate me. That I haven’t mucked everything up. Man, I never beat myself up this way after drinking, that’s for sure! What a difference it is to have to actually FEEL emotions, especially the hard ones.