All of what you say TheAtem, is me too.
All of the burning anger within spilled out to those around me, and in drinking, spilled and boiled within myself. Acting out the self loathing by pouring yet another drink down my throat. I hated it, but must have hated myself more. Poor innocent bystanders, people who cared, but eventually withdrew, caught in the maelstrom.
We are on our way TheAtem. We don't have to be like that anymore, and we will embrace the other as we embrace ourselves. And when the bad guys come along we will know the difference, and stand for ourselves sober. Unbeatable.
Just.
Poor old Mum. I gave her a hard time, but know she would be proud of me now, and would forgive her "rebel child." Thanks Mumma.