Dear Babm, I have been drunk for over 25 years. I believe in God and have also cried out. I had a health scare in March and quit cold turkey and I made a promise to God which I know I need to keep (maybe I need to give to God too, a two way relationship). I am surprised I am still alive. I also did not want to lose the battle in front of my family. And, who would take care of my cats?! I am 311 days sober. I do not think I could go through starting over again, God and the thought of starting over helps. The daily readings on the forum have really helped me. Every morning I ask God for another sober day and every evening I thank God on my knees for the day I just got through. Things are good. I am praying for you. You will be on my prayer list every night. You can do it!