Last night was god awful I barely slept, as expected. So all these books I've read, all have on thing they want me to do, make that list of why I drink and why I hate it. They always go into a diatribe of reasons. Mine have always been very very short. Here it is:
Why:
Board – especially at night, nothing to do, not even a gym open
Anxiety – I tend to get anxious / afraid
Habit – I am extremely habitual
Sleep – I have had insomnia since I was a kid (I know this is BS but I’ve never known the alternative)
Going out to dinner – I love going out and find the environment extremely conducive to drinking.
Culture – I love bars etc. I love the culture of it all.
Why not:
Health – I am an avid hiker / biker / weight lifter and yet I am still overweight
HBP – I know it is in my family, and my exercise helps but isn’t a fix. I know drinking makes it worse. I currently don’t take meds, but know they are in my future if I don’t take care of myself.
Diabetes – runs in my family. I don’t have it yet.
Vanity reasons – I want to look better.
Spend more time with my son – at night he games, I watch TV.
I’m stupid board and would love a hobby – COVID sure hasn’t helped this. At one point I even thought of going to night school.
All the reasons listed above in “why” – I’d like to not be board, anxious, afraid at night. I’d like to break this habit and sleep better. Maybe going out to diner too much is a problem. I’d like to find a new setting / culture I find cool and want to spend time in.