Sounds like an "existential/midlife crisis". I'm 42 and had the same thoughts the past few years. The way someone put it to me was that God created time to encourage us to pursue goals/love/Him/sobriety, whatever. If we lived forever then today would lose its unique flavor. The fear is meant to be a slight nudge that accompanies the other rich things in our lives. Trouble with us drunks is we've wasted so many good things that sometimes the fear is almost all that's left. But we have today sober to accept the riches He and our loved ones give us. Even one little good thing done or received sober means more to me than all the bad from my years drunk. And if it wasn't for those drunk years, I wouldn't appreciate the gift of the good things now. I guess what I'm saying is, Congratulations, you're normal! What also helps me is to remember everyone else has this stuff going on inside them, which makes it easier for me to be patient with them (or, more often, to make amends after I fail at patience!)