SeekingHelp-----you might not be a spring chicken----but, in your forties you are a middle chicken---and that is still pleanty young. I, actually, don't think that, in the matter of getting to know a person really well, age m akes that much difference. It takes a while for people to revela their guarded, vulnerable underbellies to another person.
Old recovery joke....."How do you know when a co-dependent and an alcoholic are on a first date? "There is a U-Haul in the driveway."