Originally Posted by
biminiblue 
Well, there are always exes it seems.
I'm an alcoholic in recovery but I'm female so I would likely feel like you do if I had this information.
I personally don't stay "friends" with exes. They are exes for a reason. I think many men feel differently about this and especially with the "damsel in distress," thing she has going on, but just because they attend the same Zoom AA meeting doesn't mean they're doing anything wrong.
You'll have to continue to make choices in your relationship based on your gut instinct and you're going to have to figure out where you stand on this. If it were me, I wouldn't be involved with anyone who is in early recovery (say, the first couple years) - so that's where I would draw the line. Any new relationship in new sobriety is going to be confusing and likely drama filled.
You haven't really been seeing him long enough to know much about him. I would be very cautious and as they say, "More will be revealed."
You are absolutely correct on all accounts. He is well over 2 years in recovery but I am being very cautious. She is very much "a damsel in distress". Not only is she in recovery but she has been unemployed for many years and is also disabled. I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum as I am financially stable, physically healthy, and independent. I think I will ask if there is a particular reason he feels compelled to attend that meeting and if we continue dating, would he be open to finding another one.