Thread: Advice plz
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Old 12-22-2020, 09:53 AM
  # 43 (permalink)  
pizza67
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 298
Originally Posted by velma929 View Post
Don't bother buying the book - go to the library and borrow "The Gift of Fear." Horrible title, but a very useful book. Most of it is about getting comfortable with listening to your gut and getting out of bad situations. But a couple chapters are with dealing with unbalanced people who just won't leave you alone. It's been a long time but for example, someone who wants you to invest in his idea, and calls every day asking for money.

The advice is: don't answer the phone. Really simple, but not easy. Because if you answer on the tenth call and scream at him to leave you the ---- alone, Inventor now knows he has to call you ten times before you answer the phone. AND YOU ANSWERED, SO THAT COUNTS AS PROGRESS. The author even went so far as to write, if you can't do this, have someone else screen your calls.

You can decide to not respond. You can. It doesn't sound like you'll take that avenue, but the option is there.



And there is the fatal flaw: you can't control what HE does.

You can't 'shut him down,' but you CAN refuse to play his game.
Yea I know about variable reinforcement. True. Also he tried to play games with me this morning, indirectly b*tching about me not wanting to get w him last night. I dropped the rope and calmly decided not to go on a walk w him that we had planned on, once he started the mind games this morning. ie: “I thought you might need a rAiNcHeCk, like you did last night”... “ I will take a raincheck...for the walk (said calmly and flatly)”. Pretty sure he was expecting J. A. D. E. and me running after him. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The nerve that he’d think he can get to me like that still
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