I am an addict.
I am an addict.And this is the first time I’ve admitted that to anyone. I was hoping for some advice and to find out just how bad I am.
First off I’ll say I have never used illegal drugs, it’s all been prescribed. I go to pain management.
Im currently legally prescribed (for several injuries I’ve had over the past few years, that are truly painful), and for Bipolar I.
15 mg oxycodone, suppose to take 4 a day
20 mg OxyContin, 2 a day
600 mg seroquel at night
2 mg clonozapam, one in morning and one at night
10mg flexeril sometimes
But it’s not enough. I live with people who take some of the same medications, and given the chance I’ll steal it. I even resort to pouring Benadryl down my throat trying to get myself high. I overtake my meds terrible, it’s nothing for me to take 8 oxycodones, 4-5 clonazepams and 6 seroquel a day. I went through a whole bottle of 60 in 10 days, I’ll be at least 2 weeks without them now. Sometimes I make up a stupid sob story to my parents, who I live with, on why I’ve run so short on meds. I have them convinced the pharmacist is shorting us, or I misplaced it, etc.
What bothers me is I’m taking all these meds and still don’t get very high. And that’s what I want, if I’m resorting to stealing and taking Benadryl and anything else I can, I’m still alive.
Theres no doubt what kind of addict I am, and I have not told anyone in my life about this. Any chiming in is appreciated.
Tess