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Old 12-17-2020, 11:36 AM
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trailmix
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Join Date: Nov 2016
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Hi JW. how long ago did she move out?

Regardless, getting back in to this now would probably be a mistake. She is not in recovery yet, she has barely scratched the surface, if at all. Being "sober" and being in recovery are two different things, she has a lot to work on and by returning to the marriage/home it will hurt not only you, but perhaps her progress and any relationship you might hope to have in the future. It's nice to have a comfortable place to "land" but should that be at your expense (emotionally).

It is generally said around here that one year of complete sobriety is kind of a good measure before entering in to any kind of relationship (or back in to one). This is because of the work she needs to do. There is obviously a reason why she spun out when she did and that all needs to be addressed.

Also, you don't trust her anymore (with good reason).

You mention you are still in love with her, what is it about her that you love? As she is now, not as she may have been before. Even if she does manage to stay sober, there is no guarantee that she will ever be the way you remember her to be. Over these years she has been living a completely different life/lifestyle, that has an impact.


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