Yeah you really do have your work cut out for you, man.
Its so easy to rationalise a positive from a bad decision.
I thought I was there for everyone too no matter how high I was, but I can't tell you the number of folks who've told me since they're so glad to see the real authentic sober me back.
I feel better too - I wasn't giving 100%.
I remember I'd be thinking God, I hope I don't appear as stoned as I feel....you can't give undivided attention with those kinds of sub scripts going on.
D