I don't think you will get blasted for it? I think it may be over simplifying though.
You sound really angry. I know your ex left when you stopped buying her alcohol. Do you have any support for yourself, did you ever try Al Anon?
I'm sure you are hurt and eventually time will heal, but letting go of the anger at some point is very helpful.
Also focusing on yourself and doing things you enjoy, ensuring you take good care of yourself.