For nearly 30 years , I have begged my ex husband for us to get together with rebekah and tell her the truth. That when we split up for a while I met with someone I fell deeply I love with .
I was only 28 at the time. I got pregnant at 16 and I was a child having a child.
my first husband was very dominant , just like his parents. I was only 16 so I followed teir rules.
my parents didn't like him as he was very controlling .
I stayed , I thought I would be married for life.
but there w,as always something very off about him . Perverted in a sense .
when I met Rebekahs Dad it was the first time I felt true love.
Mark found out , punched him up and slapped my face .
I stayed with him because I became pregnant, and tried to try again for my son.
this was the worst time of my life . He told me if I ever told her I would be sorry.
I'm looking back on my history now I'm 5 days sober and wish I had had more guts.
I'm not asking for sympathy or anythingthing else as I'm clear headed right now.
Asked mark Days ago if we could get this lie out of the way and be a United front.
of course , he said no. Because he needs to control everything.
I'm not having him hold me to ransom any longer in my life and thi
s lie has never gone away.
I went to Mums and because Rebekah doesn't answer her phone , I sent it in a text which kills me because it's so impersonal. But that's how ALL my girls are. They never answer my calls and will only reply by text. I asked her if I could come visit her in Tasmania before this and she said yes of course you can, but I can't see eyou because of covid when I knew covid was ok there .
I've tried over and over to ring her but now she has blocked my calls. I just need to talk to her . Her and I , so I can tell her the truth so we can move on . But pretty sure I've ****** it all up .
I'm not wanting sympathy, I'm getting well and just need to get these skeletons out of my closet.
please don't think bad of me.
the truth really has set me free but apparently she is distraught as her sister tells me.
re rebekah has ALWAYS known instinctively she is different. She looks nothing like my other 3 and has always questioned me as a little girl. Why do I have olive skin and you are all white. Why do I have curly hair and you all have straight hair.
this is unbearable .
I'm cpmpartmentalising the other shittt I'm dealing with that I told you earlier .
I would just love to have a loooooong sleep and it be over.
this was my choice and I loved her Dad Dearly. But at that time, women didn't have a choice to leave o get help.
I feel like the worst mother . No it's not an excuse to drink and I'm doing well at the moment .
I've just got to sort through this mess and my bully ex husband .
I don't think I will ever hear from her again
x xxx
I