DriGuy

Early days in recovery were the worst for me. The cravings were merciless, and it was the one time I had to plow through getting better while holding on to my chair. I assume it's like that for all of us.

First, remember that this stage doesn't last that long. While this stage requires using all the will power you can muster, it changes into something much easier to handle. You move from pulling out your hair to a more conscious thought process. You're still in danger, but at least the obsessive cravings are gone, and you can rationally reason your way through your AV and stupid rationalizations you use to tip the bottle.

Second, I made it through this part, but there may be easier ways to do it that I wasn't aware of at the time. My mistake was facing the challenge like I was some 800 pound Gorilla, beating my chest in defiance of the cravings with an attitude of, "Bring it on!" I would sit there letting the cravings wash over me, rather than remove myself from them. I think you should experiment with ways of distracting yourself from the cravings, rather than trying to be the gorilla. Get off the chair, go for a hike, push the cravings away. Concentrate on something else that you do with your hands. Instead of doing battle, try to escape in an honorable retreat. You will still have to do battle at times, but learn to distract yourself from the battle as best you can.

These first few days are exceptionally difficult, but you need to move on to stage of thinking through those drinking thoughts. Commit yourself to never drinking again. Embrace that commitment fully. Now the danger is in falling prey to the idea that one drink won't hurt, especially since you will be feeling so good. But continued sobriety is your only way out of this mess. And frankly, embracing never drinking again became a source of happy relief for me. Imagine being happy never drinking again. It's real and it happens, and it won't be some kind of sacrifice, because you will experience life from a different perspective. You will be free.