I allowed myself to eat what I wanted to for the first three weeks. I had lost some weight during the last of my drinking days, so was happy to gain some back. But, after that, I went back to fairly healthy eating and I also began exercising at the beginning of my recovery. I also had anxiety/depression from my teenage years on. And, I didn't drink at all until my mid-forties. I was never properly diagnosed or treated for depression. I got to a point in my early forties when I turned to alcohol to help me sleep and quickly became addicted. Finally, I was able to find medication that helped me. It sounds like you've tried everything you can think of to help you and nothing has worked. But, I urge you to not give up hope. Maybe there is a medication that will work for you in the right dosage, or maybe a combination of exercise and medication.