Originally Posted by
relena 
Thanks for the replies guys. I also lost my only friend in real life recently so that has made my long seemingly endless boring and awful days even longer.
It's already difficult finding ways to pass the time. If I could sleep for the next 6 months and not have to wake up and have muscle atrophy and all the complications due to sleeping for so long I would choose that in an instant.
Becoming sober is the only thing going on in my life. So i'm trying to do it as perfect as I possibly can, hoping it might speed up the process of my mind and body healing.
Hi relena. I felt crazy a lot of the time in the beginning, meaning at least the first year. And it didn't just disappear forever.
You describe a few cardinal symptoms of a depressive episode. Loss of appetite/unplanned weight loss are most concerning. How are you sleeping?
I had an extended major depressive episode when I was sober for about eleven years. Food was about as appealing to me as eating cardboard. I dropped from ~155 pounds to a low of 129 ibs. in less than six weeks. Didn't sleep. I was doing the kind of work that I loved at that time. It took a lot of work to work through the depression, but I believed that the effort would bring me to a better place. That's what I'd experienced while struggling through sobriety. Surviving the suffering was a ticket out.
I agree that it's a good thing to worry about your diet after you get some experience being sober; that getting sober is a priority.
You've been through a lot. Treat yourself as well as you're able to, as you would someone you care about.