Grymt, I feel like she seeks to "own me" because she is telling me what she thinks would be good or fun for me through the lens of what she thinks is good or fun for her. Simple example - "Mom, let's have a movie night at your house!" I agree and we end up watching a movie she wants to watch even after asking me what I suggest we could watch. (Every choice of mine rejected.) So I watch what she wants to watch.
"Mom, you need to start dating again," despite knowing I was still drinking and even I knew that was a bad idea. Aerial silks? I am awkward, not in the least bit athletically inclined , have no upper body strength, and am very self-conscious about my physical self. Would I like to go to a smelly loft and play around with a bunch of lithe and nimble 28 year old people? Not so much. But I did try it once.
I know I should let people do things for me and I'm even ok with asking people to do things for me from time to time, but this type of "doing for me" feels much like breakfast in bed for Mother's Day. It was not enjoyable for me - it was something I did for my children because they wanted to make it a special day for me. That's something you do, a mother does, for small children. But I think there is a time for children to grow up and actually think about things their parent might want to do or enjoy doing.
Don't you think?