Wendy, I second what Dee says. Truly shocking, and a huge thing to deal with. But you will.
Drinking would be the weak way out. I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. If a 6 year old kid can endure abuse, you can go without a drink. I’m not going to sugar coat it. It’s not an excuse to drink, it’s a reason to stand up and deal with reality. Yes, you’ve had a lot of tests in life.
You might feel guilt that it happened on your watch and possibly during a time you abused alcohol, but stand up now, be a leader in this and don’t be making more drama by drinking. That’s the last thing you or your family need.