Originally Posted by
Auchieshuggle 
I realised I had a problem around twenty years ago. It took over ten years before I managed to stop for nearly nine months, after which I convinced myself I could handle it again. Gradually I slipped down the path from having the 'odd blowout', to becoming a weekly drinker, and then drinking all weekend, and then every night again. It took me another eight years or so to get where I am today - sober for a whole year! I never intend to drink again, because I genuinely might not have a third chance!
You sound like you're at Step One, as AA call it. You're admitting you are unable to control your drinking. That's a good start. So ask yourself, why - despite realising you have a problem - are you still drinking?
Is it procrastination? That was my problem. I would stop tomorrow, and it actually turns out to be years later.
Both times a mental health crisis is what caused me to stop. I hope you find an easier way.
I entirely have the procrastination habit where I’ll say tomorrow I’ll stop and then a week goes by. I also realize when I stop or thought about stopping I get really overwhelmed by future events where having drinks is a mainstay. Like for instance spending time with my husbands family where drinks are always had. I keep thinking about what do I say when offered a glass of wine.