So helpful to hear your experiences, thank-you so much!
In terms of kids ages, 6, 9 and 11.
I suppose my biggest concern is that they are going to be so completely heart broken and that their childhood will be defined by this.
I am also finding it very hard to come to terms with the fact that we are making a choice to inflict this pain on them - it is different to say a death.
Also I have done heaps of research on this and find it hard to find anything too positive. Most of the stuff I have read speaks to all the issues that children of divorce have a result of going through this - do worse academically, higher rates of mental illness etc etc - it is very hard to reconcile and makes me feel incredibly guilty and selfish.
In saying that, I know within my soul that this is the right thing.
Also, I spoke to a psych who specialises in kids and families and she did reassure me that many children of divorce are well adjusted and go on to live happy lives.
Thankfully, we are friendly and both agree that the kids are number one. H wants to keep us in the house etc and has said he will help out whenever I need. He is happy for me to be here with them most of the time (thinking a 9/5 fortnight). So in terms of all that, I think we are well set up to make this ok for the kids.
Still feel sick about it!
We are not sure when to tell them. Does it matter if we tell them while he is still living here? It might be another month or so before he finds a place and can move out. Maybe even longer as there isn't much around.