Eve, please don't be embarrassed. There's no shame in asking for help, although I've been hanging around people like us long enough to know that that's a common misconception. I'll say it again, because I need to remind myself often, too. THERE IS NO SHAME IN ASKING FOR HELP. That's the reason for meetings and forums like this -- so people like us have somewhere to go to ask for help.
You just have to keep trying. If you fall, get up. If AA didn't work for you, there are other programs. If something isn't working, try something different, or add to what you're already doing.
Don't give up on yourself.