ill just say I HATED my first 2 months! I'm only 4 months sober but I would relapse every time after 1.5-2 months. Always. Then circumstances changed and I wanted it a little bit more. I made it to 3 months and realized wow! things suddenly felt a little bit easier. It was noticeable how much less I was struggling. Cravings got a little less and I gained a little more hope. But I know how you feel I was just there.