I was totally falling apart when I quit.
Physically and mentally. I had relapsed hundreds of times. I didn't know that I was relapsing. I just thought I was not an addict because I could go 1 day, a week, a month etc.
Then when my BP was 190/120, etc etc, I finally stopped kidding myself and began living clean. I still crave, but I know all about booze. I know that I will get a little buzz if I drink a little. If I drink a bunch, I will get very drunk. I will slur my words, feel euphoric, and stumble around Yay?
I am not going to say do it my way, because I could relapse in 5 minutes. I will say that I pray you figure out what I did soon, otherwise your problems will just get worse and worse.
I am craving a bit right now, but in about 5 minutes, I will feel amazing and be happy I didn't decide to poison myself again.
Thanks.