I知 sorry you relapsed. These thoughts you池e having about sobriety not being worth it and you not being adequate to achieve it IS the addiction in action. It痴 why I relapsed in the past. Realizing the benefits of sobriety takes time. I知 looking at it as a process that may take years. I look at it like I知 working hard on planting seeds now that I will harvest in the future.
I can honestly say after 9 months sober I知 reaping some rewards. Being able to look at myself in the mirror is one of those. Your sober streak is not a loss. Get back to it and in a few days you値l be Glad you did I知 sure.