Ouch ... I remember getting to that point myself.
Giving up on giving up, just wanting to accept that I was going to drink till I died.
(And the creeping feeling that day wouldn't be too far off if I kept it up at that level)
In the end I had to go get some advice from folks who had succesfully stopped and were happy about it.
Ask them what they did (12 step recovery) and follow in their footsteps.
Scary ? .... YES
Scarier than continuing the way I was ?
The anxiety, the panic attacks, the vomiting, the diaorhea, the lies, the deceit, the guilt, the shame, the blackouts.
NO
So I had to do what I had to do. 6.5 years later, things are pretty good 😊