I'm not sure if I want to continue this fruitless pursuit of sobriety or just accept the fact that I'm always going to be broken in some way or another and stop fighting for perfection.
It's
not fruitless! It just
seems that way right now. We're all broken in some way. The pursuit of sobriety is not a 'fight for perfection', but an ongoing quest to better ourselves.
Progress, not
perfection. Also, I had to stop fighting alcohol. I surrendered when I understood it would always beat me. Now I don't engage with alcohol at all and there's no sense of 'fighting', just a deep feeling of peace and contentment.
Don't give up on yourself. I felt broken and beyond repair but with the encouragement of the members here, I didn't give up, I kept trying. And in less than 2 months, I'll have 11 yrs sober.
So you see, it IS possible.
