BigSis,
Good points, I agree. For me, yes I love the person with the disease, no doubt. However, its not easy for me to say, well I love her/him, but hate that disease they have that MAKES them act that way.
I feel like we Al-anoners spend all this time, taking responsibility for whats ours and detaching, separating, and saying this is what is up to me and what I am in control of and no one else is to blame for MY choices.
And the addicts, while as unpleasant as this may sound, has the "I have a disease" card in their deck.
The disease may be what gets one into addiction, but certainly is not what stops them from recovery. They are responsible for that all on their own, in my opinion.
So, the way it works for me, is that I accept responsibility for my actions, and expect the alcoholic to do the same...disease or not. Oh man, I can really put into words what I want to say today..
Geeeeshhh.