Hi Treeguy
there’s nothing wrong with you that’s not wrong with the rest of us man. I think most of us have the experience of having some sober/clean time and then relapsing again. I know I did.
I think rather than asking yourself why, perhaps a better question might be what am I going to do about this.
You know why. You have an addiction problem. Many of us hoped we were ‘done’ but found ourselves falling back.
The good news is you’ve racked up some recovery time. You know how to get sober and clean - now you need to learn how to stay that way for good.
This site is great, but if SR alone is not helping you get to where you want to be, I think the suggestions here to try some other things as well is a great idea
D