It helps me to hate the disease, and not the person.
The disease is baffling. It makes no sense. An alcoholic doesn't think rationally (about consequences). Their thoughts and feelings are centered on the next drink. They either don't care about or don't acknowledge the pain and devastation their actions are causing in their loved ones. The betrayal, fear, anxiety and hurt that are caused by the alcoholic's actions are awful.
How do I live with this knowledge while maintaining a loving and respectful relationship with the alcoholic in my life? It's not easy, and that's why I need Al-anon.
Robin