You're right that right now, no amount of reading will make it sink in, it's about acceptance, not knowledge. Knowledge about this is vitally important, of course, but acceptance that you can't control this is equally important, knowledge comes first for the other to sink in.
You could actually apply that to your wife's situation as well. You can talk to her all day long, tell her how great sobriety would be, how it will mend your family and allow you to keep being a close family, your version is not having that affect. She has the knowledge, basically, she doesn't sound like she has accepted that she is powerless over this. So maybe that gives you a better idea of how she might be thinking. You both know what you know but this is a standoff.
My Father was an alcoholic, all his life, he never sought treatment that I am aware of and I know he was offered help by his employer at one point and he quit instead.
He was married to a woman for some years and they had 3 children. She left him and he never saw his two sons again. He married my Mother and she left him too eventually, after 20 or so years, I have no doubt that he would have chosen differently if he felt he could, but he couldn't and she had long given up on the marriage.
So people leave their families (or have them leave), they leave wives, husbands, children, babies and other family members - to continue drinking, it happens every day and there are many stories of that in the Newcomer's to recovery forum. Everyone wants to think they are different, everyone wants to believe and hope their story will be different, generally it's not.
If you believe your wife knows what she is doing is "wrong" and destructive, you may well be right. Your logical draw from this is that she therefore wants to/intends to correct that. That's not necessarily true, she may know but perhaps what she wants is to maintain what she has now, this is, basically, working for her. She can have her family and drink as well.
You may say she can't, but that's not the reality, today, she can.