Originally Posted by
Bidgdrunner 
I'm very lucky that I have tremendous willpower...
She is not you
Originally Posted by
Bidgdrunner But, I know she hates who she is... she admits it's a problem
You know nothing of the sort. You know what words come out of her mouth when you nag her about it.
Originally Posted by
Bidgdrunner ...which I felt should put her in a good place for wanting to do something about it.
Again, the two of you are separate people.
Originally Posted by
Bidgdrunner But, I know she's tried... but never really put her heart into it, despite my pleas and my threats but I at least hoped that she might be able to admit that she would like some help,
She doesn't have a problem with her drinking. You do.
Originally Posted by
Bidgdrunner at least we could try something more constructive,
What is this 'we' business?
Originally Posted by
Bidgdrunner ...she merely insists she has it under control when all past experience points very conclusively to the fact that she does not, and that this cycle will continue.
It was after my husband's death that I arrived at a place of true forgiveness (and the struggle is real, forgiveness is not my strong suit.) I wrote on this forum that he had never even tried to quit drinking. One wise soul replied, "He couldn't." So true. At some point, there no longer is an option of taking charge.
On another question-and-answer forum, I read just this morning a question from a person with substantial liver damage, who hadn't had a drink for two weeks. His question was, "
Is it ok for me to just drink 1 5% of alcohol beer?"