Originally Posted by
trailmix 
Have you ever had a hard time doing something? Ever needed to lose weight, have you ever broken up with someone you didn't want to break up with and had a hell of a time staying out of contact with them? Ever failed at trying something. Do you ever wake up and think, something like, I'm going to get in to shape! I'll go for a run this afternoon and get started and then stayed in to watch tv instead? Become a vegan? Cut down on - whatever your comfort food is?
If not, this may not make any sense but it gives you an idea of the resolve you can have when you KNOW you should be doing something so you say, ok I will do it (and you mean it!) but when push comes to shove, it's just too hard.
These things give you a vague idea of why she says, I'm done! I'm going to quit! She may mean it but addiction is a serious thing, she is addicted physically and mentally and withdrawal can be hell (and also very dangerous) as dandylion has mentioned.
Don't expect her to beg you for help, it's unrealistic. The uphill battle, after the withdrawal must look like a mountain. Only a professional working with her could probably get to the bottom of that. She has to have the will to quit, nothing you have said indicates she is interested in doing that right now. It's her choice.
I'm very lucky that I have tremendous willpower. I've run most days for almost a decade. Normal bodyweight for my height, don't smoke or drink, can run 5k in 18 mins at almost 45, so guess that's part of my frustration, because I see identifying issues and taking control of them as being routine. No one else has responsibility for me and my body, so it's up to me to do so.
When I used the term 'beg' I think on reflection it was not as apt as it could have been. But, I know she hates who she is, and I know she admits it's a problem, which I felt should put her in a good place for wanting to do something about it. I accept that from that point actually doing something about it is hard. But, I know she's tried, generally quite pitifully, but never really put her heart into it, despite my pleas and my threats but I at least hoped that she might be able to admit that she would like some help, that's what I meant, as at least we could try something more constructive, perhaps some medical intervention for example. But no, she merely insists she has it under control when all past experience points very conclusively to the fact that she does not, and that this cycle will continue.
Thanks to everyone who has contributed to this thread. I do appreciate everyone taking the time and it does help. The trouble is, and as frustrating as this is, no amount of reading different people say the same thing again and again and again is really sinking it. Seems I need to learn this for myself, clearly the hard way. All I'll say, is that keep the advice coming please and I really hope that it takes me to that place of realisation just a little bit quicker than it might if I wasn't benefitting from everyone else's similar, and equally horrible, life experiences.