This is such a good topic, honestly.
I agree with others here when they say that developing that mindset takes time with continued sobriety. You start to see all of the benefits and improvements happening because you are sober, and it feels really good. However, I'd be lying if I said I still don't sometimes think I'm "missing out" by not drinking or wish that I could drink like a normal person. But there's several issues with that line of thinking. First of all, any thoughts of drinking or nostalgia or longing for alcohol is just my addiction trying to get me to drink, so that's a full stop right there. Secondly, I try to examine what exactly I feel I'm missing out on. The answer? Getting drunk. I always drank to get drunk; I never wanted one or two, I never wanted to just celebrate with one glass of wine, it was a three liter box in one sitting or nothing at all. There is no point in pretending that I could ever be happy with just one drink. Therefore, I can substitute alcohol for literally any other liquid and it means the same thing, since the point of having just one is not to get drunk, it's to enjoy the liquid. If I'm not getting drunk, there's no point in drinking. I needed to face the reality of that and stop trying to fool myself into thinking I ever wanted to drink like a normal person. And if I ever relapse, I'll have to accept that I am doing it consciously to get drunk.
This was in practice this past weekend at my boyfriend's place. He just bought a house, and I had the thought that I wished we could have an alcoholic drink to celebrate. Cue going through all the thoughts outlined above. He, being the considerate partner that he is, bought chocolate milk to toast with instead.
Going around with logic puzzles like this honestly isn't super helpful after the first time you realize it. I find it's much better to just shut down the AV whenever it pipes up and not engage with any of it. Shut that **** down and focus on your recovery and the sober life you are going to build. It gets easier.
Idk if this makes any sense, but I just wanted to chime in because I had this thought this past weekend, so it was fresh for me.