You have my heart here this morning
When we're in the midst of our addiction, we can't see clearly and the emotions take over. What you are going through is withdrawals and that is not the real you. Stay sober and you will gain clarity. With clarity the way forward becomes so much clearer.
Think about the innocent child that resides within you...that is YOU. When talking things out, speak to the vulnerable child that is you in a kind and loving way.
With all the life experience you have, in a year from now, you could be a rock for others who are suffering like you are now.
I hope you decide to keep posting here.
Sending loving vibes your way xoxo