Stany

I’ve posted before about my AH (whom I suspect has an alcohol problem). He doesn’t get drunk every day - or often at all. He’s not violent.

but he’s hidden wine in the house. He’s drunk a whole six pack of beer in his car before driving home. It affects his behavior and moods. Mostly, he seems to use it to deal with stress, always thinking it will calm him when, in reality, it ramps him up.

Thursday, he went to his son’s baseball practice, then was picking up dinner. We texted some back and forth and all seemed fine. But he texted asking me to have a pen and paper ready. OK.

He got home and I could tell he was off. Wrote a letter, then went upstairs to use the bathroom. It was a note saying he’d had a beer while waiting for the food and wanted me to keep his wallet and keys and, if I felt threatened or uncomfortable at any point, I should leave.

I really didn’t know what to do. He asked if I was mad. I was disappointed and I didn’t like that he drove. That annoyed him because the restaurant is very close and he felt fine. I could tell he was not “normal” though.

Then he talked about how he tried to do the right thing and still “got in trouble.”

I felt annoyed with all this and saw it as the denial/justification/manipulation it was. But I also knew that while he’s under the influence is not the time to have a talk about how I feel.

Today there was another practice. He texted me and told me to go ahead with our afternoon plan (going to an open house) because the coaches decided to do a 5-inning skirmish. I went. Was gone less than an hour and I came home to find my stepson freshly showered and could hear AH upstairs getting cleaned up.

When he came down, he was again “off.”

I suspect there was no skirmish. That he’s hiding something upstairs.

I just don’t know how to handle things like this. He gets defensive or denies things and pushing only makes it worse.