Originally Posted by
Icemelon 
Yesterday I rang him and he just kept saying he loved me but i need to sort my head out, hes done nothing wrong and hes entitled to a blow out.
I just feel so bad and unloved. Ive hardly heard from him and hes been in London nearly a week. And him making out hes such a success now, whilst im the one with the issues.
Is it me in the wrong somehow? Can he get better from a drug addiction without professional help? Does he just not love me or is it the drugs?
My head feels so messed up.
He drops off drugs to you because he's worried about you? That's odd.
Anytime you try to apply normal reasoning/questions about behaviour of a crack head, that's kind of just asking for more angst?
Addicts aren't just not thinking straight when they are sky high, drugs affect the brain and that's longer term, could be permanent but certainly while they are in active addiction. When they aren't drinking or using other drugs they are thinking about using alcohol or other drugs, that's the nature of addiction.
Everything else is secondary (including you).
No, addicts don't have "occasional" blow outs, he just wants to get high.
There is nothing normal about any of this and the more time you spend away from his drama world the more you will see that and will probably end up wondering why you ever stayed involved as long as you did. When someone shows you their "good" side occasionally and throws you a few crumbs of kindness, it can be addictive in itself. You WANT them to be normal and caring and compassionate etc etc and you hope there will be more good than bad, but that certainly isn't the case here.
Again, the longer you are away from it, changing your focus to yourself and your own interests and your own family and friends, the better you will feel. I know, it still hurts, a lot, time will help with that, which is not easy but can be done and is the best thing for you don't you think?