Well...you have sent some version of this message before, haven’t you?
We often advise the loved ones of addicts to pay attention to their actions, not their words. Actions tell the truth. Words lie, deflect, stall, and obfuscate.
The same is true for loved ones. Your wife has no reason to believe your words if they have never been backed up by action. You are trying to show her things about herself that she already knows are true but have not been enough to make her take responsibility for herself.
There comes a time when we have to stop asking others to change to make our lives better and make the changes ourselves to have the lives we want, as well as the lives our children deserve.