Speaking of "blaming," and as it is unfortunately fairly common, I hope there is still an article on here that shows alcoholism as a play in three acts, maybe among the stickies? Of course, an alcoholic is the main actor. But the second role is the role of a "Provoker." This is the person who always get blamed for everything bad that happens in alcoholic's life. And the role is usually played by the wife/spouse or the mother. The article really describes well the whole vicious circle of madness and blame-game. And there are other actors too. Because everyone who is involved in any way will be affected.
Found it! It may help you understand the whole dynamics a bit better and the role you are playing.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...cters-1-a.html (Alcoholism is a tragic three act play in which there are at least 4 characters #1)