CloudyDays

Hi guys. It's been a long time since I've posted here. I've been up and down. But I'm back at it. As long as I'm still here, I have a chance to try again I suppose. I'm working on day 7.

So I do well all day for the most part. But right around 6pm the invasive thoughts start circling. Will I drink? If so, what lies do I need to tell to go drink? What time should I do it? and on and on. I have this back and forth internal battle for like 3 hours every night trying to talk myself into and out of drinking. If I can make it until about 9pm I'm pretty safe. And I know from my previous experience of being sober for about ten years, I won't have to face this battle every night. Eventually, subtly, it decreases. But this time around, and I'm only on day 7, the 3 hour nightly screaming match in my head is so brutal.

I guess I'm wondering if anyone can relate? And if anyone has any suggestions on how to fill that time? I work out in the morning so can't do that. But I'm at a loss on how to handle these few hours and I'm really scared that sometime soon, they will be my downfall.

Any thoughts or advice is really, truly appreciated. Thanks so much.