I that feeling..."it's an emergency! He's going to get hurt or die!" feeling with my stepson. My late husband and I would run around in a panic, worrying, trying to arrange things for him--all of which he refused. I don't think I recall the number of times he told us he hated us.
Plus, the classic "Everyone says they want to help me, but no one will do anything!" Well, we did offer help, but no if he was going to continue to drink and use drugs on our dime. And no, it wasn't an ultimatum. That was just our boundary. We were not going to keep throwing money at him knowing he would use it for booze or drugs.
You see, help to my stepson was paying for his car, his phone, his apartment, his spending money, his food, doing his laundry, etc., all while he was free to drink and do drugs. That is not the kind of 'help' we were willing to offer.
I know that this seems like a 4-alarm emergency, but from my own experience, addicts and alcoholics are very, very resourceful. Try to breathe...and then breathe again. Tell him you love him and that you know he can do this. If he wants to talk about ways in which he can find help, listen and ask questions, but don't offer to fix or arrange anything. But ultimately all of his decisions and actions are his to own.
Believe me, I know how much this hurts. I know how anxious you feel right now--truly. Try to distract yourself or get some exercise. It helps, truly.