Originally Posted by
Funnyfarmmum83 
I just don't understand how you can treat someone you say you love, the way he treats me after getting into the bottle?
Any words of wisdom to help me cope.
The answer to your dilemma is right there in your question - he does it because his mind is saturated with alcohol. He isn't himself. There's no reasoning with him, no communicating with him, and no predictability.
There is no way to
cope because it's only going to get worse.
There's only one time in an alcoholic's life that things get better - when we quit drinking. Entirely.
It looks to me like you're being faced with some very unsettling life choices you need to make for yourself and your children while being direct with your partner at the same time. You can change your own life and his, but only to the point that you remove yourself from it.