Feel Broken
I have been with my other half for almost 8 years. Together, we have blended a family. Started a successful business. Bought a house. Made a life that I love.
He is a drinker. Not everyday, but often enough. He drinks to the point of being totally intoxicated. Slurring words, falling down. Sometimes (fairly often) after getting really drunk, he gets mean. The smallest thing sets him off, then he goes straight for the jugular. Says horrible, horrible things that cut me to the core. Of course, the next day it's all apologies- how he doesn't mean what he said and loves me, etc. When he is sober, I couldn't ask for a better partner in life, and I love him more then I ever thought it possible to love another human. I have told him that his words are hurtful. He knows this. I have told him that although I may forgive him, I NEVER forget. The words are always right there taunting me. After all these years, its starting to weigh on me. I feel so defeated and broken. I try to remind myself why he does what he does, (the alcohol, his childhood that he refuses to face, his upbringing and the buried anger)
I just don't understand how you can treat someone you say you love, the way he treats me after getting into the bottle?
Any words of wisdom to help me cope?
Thank you.