Originally Posted by
Laura3 
I would stop now but ...
Im finding it incredibly hard to stop because...
When im having a bad day nobodys around to pull me out of it.
I dont think detox or rehab is really an option during covid. Even if it were, its probably not a good idea.
At least I set a date for tomorrow so I wont wake up and go get more alcohol. I will try again, thats all I can do
Well - how convenient is all that?
You just talked yourself out of getting sober
and getting help - all in one succinct paragraph.
If you think you can reach your real self - the one being drowned out by your alcoholic voice - that person might try to strangle you into some sanity.
Nobody can pull you out of your withdrawal. You put yourself in it and the only way out is through.
Tomorrow doesn't usually come for an alcoholic.
Tomorrow usually keeps getting pushed back a day or eight or eighteen for one brilliant reason or another. Drinkers can conjure up a brilliant reason like a chef conjures up a yummy dinner.
The help you want is here, it's online, and it's people like me who are willing to meet you in person because we understand that your life is at stake. There are people like me in your area - you just have to find them.
Try to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Take a deep breath first and then try to start controlling your thinking - one thought at a time. It might help to write a few things down that you want to start doing in an attempt to begin caring for yourself.