Jazzman

Last night I got a phone call from my MIL(ex) inviting myself & the boys to her house for Christmas dinner. She told me that M said she wasn’t going to come but wasn’t really sure. MIL then said if M “did” show up it would be too hard on M if both I were there AND my ex-husband. My MIL then suggested if that were the case that I could just drop he boys off for a while then pick then up later. I told her we had plans and that we should schedule something for after Christmas when everyone could make it here including my stepchildren but before my oldest goes back to school. Then MIL told me that M is moving. I know this because M moved out a year ago and signed a one year lease. I told her I know and we didn’t need to talk about M. We yaked for a while about other stuff, it was nice to catch up with her.

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Is it possible that MIL has absolutely no clue that being in a room w/ M is something that might be hard on ME?!?! She knows how I feel about M as well as how I feel about my ex husband. And the thought of dropping off my boys for a while if M were there and they would not be AT ALL uncomfortable with that situation?

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After the call I realized my boundaries have become so commonplace that they are now my unconscious knee jerk reaction. I was shocked that MIL could have been so insensitive to OUR feelings. My first thought was she has changed, or possibly the stress from her situation. And then I realized MIL has always been that way. I have changed… for the better.