any------I am going to speak to you in a different vein. 19yrs. old----this should be one of the best times of your life---going to college, and all. It is a time that should be devoted to your own development as a young woman. Being entangled in a relationship with committments can be a big drain on you and limit your life in so many ways. You should be free to learn and have fun, all the while. To have adventures and to learn about yourself and to learn some important life lessons. You are still in a stage of development----and you are likely to make lots of changes between now and your early 20s. Gosh, the human brain is not even finished growing until somewhere between 21 and 25yrs.
If you want the best chance to be an independent person---your best chance is to spend your energy on your self and your development---and prepare yourself for a good career. Today's women must do this in preparation for survival in today's world.
Don;t let any man or person take presedence over your self-development during these great years of your life. You will have decades of time for such things as a committed relationship, maybe children, etc. later. Don't let yourself become one of those people who, later, look back and wish that they had taken advantage of their young years before getting "tied down". I have seen so many people do that.
Yes, I get it that you are attracted to this guy....I was 19yrs. old, myself, once----lol. I had a wonderful guy as a boyfriend, at that time. My first one---but, he was not the person that I ended up spending the rest of my life with. Ultimately, I had several loves, after that. Looking back, I wouldn't trade those years of my life for anything. My own mother and grandmother did not get those opportunities in their lives. That makes me feel very sad for them, in that way.
When you get to college, I think it would be a womderful idea for you to join a womans support group on your campus. You can ask your counselor about how to do that. You have so much to look forward to.
Alcoholism and alcoholics are very self centered and can be blindly selfish.